pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
