Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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