i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
