it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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