Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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