This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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