i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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