Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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