well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize