The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
