I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm passing your future prison.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
