You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
