Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
