You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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