Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
