He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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