I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
