3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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