Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im part way to drunk.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
