I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
