You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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