There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That accounts for only three of the penises
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
