my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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