maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
