We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize