It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
