Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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