He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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