it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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