the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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