Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
