Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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