I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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