people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
