i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
