He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
