Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
