At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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