and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
