Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
