I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize