I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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