dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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