he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
