Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
People in love make me want to vomit
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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