I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my being single is dangerous.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
