my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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