i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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