Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
