Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
