last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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