there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
