i dedicated my morning wood to you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
