well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
