Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
