mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My vagina is officially offended.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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