Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you never un-have a 4some
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
