I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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