He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
