Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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