last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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