No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
