I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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