Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
