if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But break dance skills will only take you so far
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
