idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
