You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
