I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
