Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
